The Cynic – Part 1

For the hundredth time, she checked the time and knew she was getting late again for her pedicure appointment. Now, they will make her wait in the lounge and ask her a zillion times if she wants to have coffee and give her a dozen bimbo magazines to pass off time before the next LazyBoy gets empty. After all the busy weekdays, Saturday was the only day she could run errands, pay bills, get pampered a bit and stock up groceries for the coming week. She had to start work by Sunday afternoon in order to be up-to-date by Monday morning. This time that she is wasting in the traffic is too precious for her.

Just when she was cursing the traffic in the city, her luck for getting stuck in it on a weekday and wondering if she can get away with going late by screaming at the receptionist in the salon, it started moving a bit. She lifted her feet from the clutch, and smiled at having had her backup plan ready, just in case she had to spend hours at the salon doing nothing. She had her copy of The Color Purple, which she could not find time to read at home. At times like this she thought what her friends who criticize her habit of having a backup plan would say for a situation like this. Would they still say she is not enjoying her life? She should ask them. Writing this on her mental post-it note, she saw to her left to see if the black Honda city is inching towards her car. That’s when she saw it – The Archies cards showroom.

She knows what Archies or Hallmark stand for. Sappy, mushy messages written on expensive merchandise ready to be bought by naive teenage girls, who think its their birthright to spend their Dad’s money on useless stuff like this. These are the people who watch those sappy K-Jo movies and get a wrong idea about life. Silly girls, she thought.

And she could not help but smiling. Not at the silly girls, but herself. For being so judgemental about them, when she herself was one of them till sometime back.

She was her town’s Archies’ favorite customer. She would have one copy of each of Archies’ awesome cards. 25 Reasons why I love you, Titanic cards with Jack & Rose promising each other eternal love, Why you are the best friend ever?, World’s best boss – she had all these in her collection. She was going to use them on a need basis. 

Yes, she had thought that life is like a movie – you get into a great college, you fall in love with your best friend and since love is synonymous with marriage, you would also marry him, you and your friends land a great job in the city of your dreams the minute you finish college, you have an awesome boss who adores you, you are in touch with all your college friends even after you finish college You basically smile throughout the movie like you are posing for the Close-Up ad, and are living life likes its a lavish Yash Raj movie.

Oh yes…she had thought all of these. All those dreams had to end like that. There is just no other possibility, right? She had been a good person all her life and so good things will happen to her no matter what.

And then, life happened.

Ooooh yes.. it did. It happened big-time. And she wasn’t prepared for it. Totally.

[Continued in Part 2]

Long-distance..

“You don’t love me anymore. I can see the difference. When you were here, you used to call me daily. Now you don’t call me even once in a month.. “ she started off the minute she took the call.

“Oh please, don’t start it again. I am tired of these words. I had a tough day y’day. ”

“What happened? May be I can help?“

“No. Forget it”

“See, you don’t share anything with me these days”

“Oh please, Kavya. I really am not in a mood to listen to all this today. Whenever I call you have to say this. Its like we are not having normal conversation anymore. If I do not want to share something with you, I do not want to. Don’t ask me a hundred times and make me feel guilty for rejecting your help. Anyways, I gotta go now. Let me see if I can call you later. Else, we can still chat. Bye”

She held the phone to her ears minutes after he hung up, thinking where they were going wrong. Everything seemed perfect with them when they were together, and now every sentence the other says is the reason for a new fight. Anyways, he will call me in a day, as he always does. We will talk about it and close this fight. – she calmed herself and she waited… waited for a full month for him to call her again.

“Oh.. Is this when you remembered me? You didn’t even call to close the fight! And I could not sleep for two days, you know?”, her standard first sentence.

“Again??? What is there to close the fight? Tell me? Anyways, I called to hear your voice. And I can also hear the same old rant. I’ll hang up now. See ya later!”

And it continued. They had been best friends for years, and figured out that was love. But now, she wondered if she was having a relationship with her best friend or with the chat window.

********************

“Kya yaar.. tu aaj kal mere se pyaar nahi karta hain. Main notice kar rahi hoon”, she had decided to start today’s call with these lines.

“Of course, karta hoon re. Bas kaam mein busy hoon”, he laughed and said.

Sensing a tinge of irritation in the tone, she continued, “Nahi.. tu pyaar se bol bhi nahi raha hain aaj kal. Jab dekho tab kaam kaam.. “

He gave in and said, “Kavya, just dont irritate me, baby. I had a tough day, and I wanted to talk about it. And you start off on a different note. What’s wrong with you? Why cannot you just not crib for one day?”

Astonished, and wondering if her life has come a full circle, she said, “C’mon dude, you know I wasn’t really cribbing. I was just talking. You know I miss you!”

“Hahahaha… I knew it. You were expecting me to behave this way, right?”, he laughed lightly.

“God, so you weren’t pissed with me for talking like that again?”

“Of course not, baby! I miss you too. And I know that’s your way of saying you miss me!”

Heaving a sigh of relief that she left the old circle way behind , she smiled.

“So you know what happened today? … “, he continued talking about his day.

Apart from listening to him rambling about his day and offering him her perspective on his problems, there was another parallel thread running in her head - Loving someone so much that you understand him and boldly talking about your feelings, this had to be love, right? Or is it age, exposure to the world and love together?

********************

Back.. I hope..

Ooookay... after a night full of marathon, back to back SATC episode watching, I can say its an end of the era.. Nopes, not the SATC one but the one I defined for myself, because of which I literally did not do anything but switch on the TV once I came home!
But of course its an end to the era of sitcom catching-up for me. After having watched Friends, How I Met your mother and The Big Bang Theory, SATC was the last one on my list, and I finally checked it off.

It was this sitcom watching which made me too lazy to open my lappie to write(hence the lull on the blog!) or to even do the carry-over work. No wonder I have been stressed at work.. I had loads to do, and I had to finish it all between 10-6, or the 2-3 hours I have in that time, what with all those meetings which make me totally restless.. (a full calendar first thing in the morning makes me mad).

Now I can officially give no excuse to myself for not blogging or not working at home, not that I support the latter.. but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

Apart from this mad sitcom watching phase, its generally been a busy life. Handling a long distance relationship(which totally was not like I thought it would be, touche' and on which I have some thoughts which can make a post of its own), understanding the new role at work(the understanding I had of it when I took is totally different from what it is now. So its going to be a lot of unlearning and relearning for me now), figuring out how my name got into those 4 work initiatives when I had not accepted the invite for any of them, realizing that I can do nothing about them but start planning for them… basically this is what the past few days have been..

2 States!

After having paid for two of his initial mistakes and vehemently denying to pay for his third mistake, I fell prey for the fourth one! After picking up some great books at Crossword, I glanced at this huge array of this book decorated, and checked the price. Since it was too low for me to re-think, I picked it up, all the while knowing I am going to kick myself in the butt for having done so. Oh well.. I have paid 100/- each for many such books written by way too mediocre writers to actually care for this one..

(I do not want to name them, but most of them are by bloggers turned authors, and because of this fairy tale dream I have in which I turn into a successful blogger-turned-author myself, I end up getting them and reading them all in one go! And then sit and crib about the lost 3 hours!)

I better not launch into the rant/crib session that I went into with a bunch of co-workers on why people like Chetan Bhagat are considered to be great writers when there is nothing so good in their writing style or books. In this case, the USP I think is that he is an IIT+IIM guy who has left his successful investment banking career to write books.

As for this book, its like a long love letter to his wife, Ananya, telling how much he loved her and what all he did to get married to her. Nothing more than that. However, I must agree that the writing is effortless as it has always been and I could finish it one go in 3:30 hour. That could also be because this book doesn’t require a brain at all.. anyone can read this.

And now, I am seriously considering writing a book. I have a couple of plots on my head, and I going to start writing one of them soon. It will never be compared to the ones written by writers I worship, might be half as good as the ones I love, and will be almost as good as the ones I rant/crib about! But one thing for sure is that it will be effortless reading too, if the subject is interesting that is. And if my blog readers ever read that, they will know that its me right away! :)

Takers, anyone? :)

Night

Oh my God! What a book! What a history humans have had!

Such deep pain in every sentence, that the reader has no option but to get carried away to Auschwitz and shudder throughout!
Such profound thoughts on the existence of God that I drifted into my own thought for a while!
Such cruelty man is capable of that I felt disgusted of being a human being!

The atrocities brought upon a whole generation of people by a handful of tyrants is mind-numbing. Its far more hard on the heart that Anne Frank’s diary ever was, and I don’t know if I am glad at having read this book or if I should be kicking myself for having done that. And for this very good reason, I am not going to dissect this book in detail.

If looked upon purely as a book also, its a beautiful piece of work, with honest expressions by the author.

And if I think about the concept of Karma, I really wonder where all those Nazis would’ve ended up, what would’ve happened to SS officers and will Hitler ever get to be a human again???

To end this post, just a few famous words from that book.. lines which will tell one boy’s pain in very simple words -

Never shall I forget that night, the first night in camp, which has turned my life into one long night, seven times cursed and seven times sealed.
Never shall I forget that smoke.
Never shall I forget the little faces of the children, whose bodies I saw turned into wreaths of smoke beneath a silent blue sky.
Never shall I forget those flames which consumed my faith forever.
Never shall I forget that nocturnal silence which deprived me, for all eternity, of the desire to live. Never shall I forget those moments which murdered my God and my soul and turned my dreams to dust.
Never shall I forget these things, even if I am condemned to live as long as God Himself.
Never

This morning, I was explaining the concept of God, his existence and Karma to my friend’s lovely 10 yr old daughter whom I could not convince that God is present around her. But boy am I glad that she doesn’t know of the Holocaust! I would’ve never been able to make her say  – Aunty, may be you are right! And I would’ve had to explain the concept of wars to her.
This talk with her, by the way is one of the best times I spent with her. Especially after having had to explain the concept of boys, love, marriage(she is quite a curious kid and I do not like to nip the questions), this was a welcome break for me. And a sign that she is growing up to be someone I am going to love, and that she still thinks her Aunty has all the answers! :)